As
people reconciled to God by the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, we
believe that we are called to respond to conflict in a way that is remarkably
different from the way the world deals with conflict. We also believe
that conflict provides opportunities to glorify God, serve other people, and
grow to be like Christ. Therefore, in response to God’s love and in reliance on
His grace, we commit ourselves to respond to conflict according to the
following principles. (Gal. 5:19-26; Matt. 5:9; II Cor. 10:31-11:1; Rom.
8:28-29; James 1:2-4)
GLORIFY GOD
Instead
of focusing on our own desires or dwelling on what others may do, we seek to
please and honor God by depending on His wisdom, power, and love; by faithfully
obeying His commands; and by seeking to maintain a loving, merciful and
forgiving attitude. (I Cor. 10:31; James 4:1-3; Psalm 37:1-6, Phil. 4:2-9; Col.
3:1-4, I Peter 2:12; John 14:15; James 3:17-18; Rom. 12:17-21; Mark 11:25)
GET THE LOG OUT OF
YOUR OWN EYE
Instead
of attacking others or dwelling on their wrongs, we will take responsibility
for our own contribution to conflicts—confessing our sins, asking God to help
us change any attitudes and habits that lead to conflict, and seeking to repair
any harm we have caused. (Matt. 7:3-5; I John 1:8-9; Proverbs 28:13; Col.
3:5-14; Luke 19:8)
GO AND SHOW YOUR
BROTHER HIS FAULT
Instead
of pretending conflict doesn’t exist or talking about others behind their
backs, we will choose to overlook minor offenses, or we will talk directly and
graciously with those whose offenses seem too serious to overlook. When a
conflict with another Christian cannot be resolved in private, we will ask
others in the body of Christ to help us settle the matter in a biblical manner.
(Matt. 18:15-20; James 5:9; Proverbs 19:11; Gal. 6:1-2; Eph. 4:29; II Tim.
2:24-26; I Cor. 6:1-8)
GO AND BE RECONCILED
Instead
of accepting premature compromise or allowing relationships to whither, we will
actively pursue genuine peace and reconciliation-forgiving others as God, for
Christ’s sake, has forgiven us, and seeking just and mutually beneficial
solutions to our differences. (Matt. 5:23-24; Matt. 6:12; Eph. 4:1-3, 32; Matt.
7:12; Phil. 2:3-4)
By
God’s grace, we will apply these principles as a matter of stewardship,
realizing that conflict is an assignment,
not an accident. We will remember that success, in God’s eyes, is not a matter
of specific results but of faithful, dependent obedience. We will pray that our service as peacemakers
brings praise to our Lord and leads others to know his infinite love. (Matt.
25:14-21; I Peter 2:19, 4:19; Rom. 12:18, John 13:34-35)
Conflict
Resolution Checklist
- q Seek to please and honor God by depending on His wisdom, power and love, and faithfully obeying His commands.
- q Check my spirit by seeking to maintain a loving, merciful and forgiving attitude.
- q Take responsibility for our own contribution to the conflict. (the log in my own eye)
- q Confess my sin by asking God to help change my attitudes and habits that lead to conflict.
- q Seek to repair any harm I have caused.
- q Overlook minor offenses and talk directly and graciously with those whose offenses seem too serious to overlook.
- q Attempt to resolve this in private, remembering these principles:
- o Deal gently, not critically.
- o No condemning, commanding or power-play
- o No condescending, making fun, belittling, or discounting.
- o No diversions, deal only with the present conflict, no other issues.
- o Respect the person as they too are made in the image of our Father.
- o Trust the other person. Assume the best.
- o If not resolved in private, ask others to help you settle the matter in a biblical manner.
- o Actively pursue peace and reconciliation.
- q Forgive others as God has forgiven you.
- q Seek just and mutually beneficial solutions to your differences.
(The
Speech & Debate Club “Conflict Resolution Policy” and “Standard of Conduct”
is adapted from
the Peacemaker's Pledge & also used by OCHEC.)
